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Più di un’amica, molto di più e più ancora.
Non la dimenticherò mai, nonostante il tempo ci abbia separato e portato su strade completamente diverse. Di lei non so più nulla. L’ultima volta che la vidi fu a Londra, nel 2001. Un incontro rapido lungo Whitehall, dove abbiamo percorso quel chilometro a piedi. Fu allora che ci separammo definitivamente. Lei proseguì alla London School of Economics, io mi diressi verso Trafalgar Square con Marco al mio fianco.
Ricordo il nostro primo incontro: io sul motorino, lei in bicicletta, diretti alla SOS di Mozzate.
E così passarono gli anni, quelli miei all’università a Pavia e i suoi tra la scuola di Saronno e il primo anno di Fisica.
Fummo grandi amici, in quasi perfetta sintonia. Nel 1994 andammo in Polonia passando da Praga, riuscimmo andare anche a Vienna, a Budapest, a Nizza, a Barcellona e in Germania. Ricordo una notte intensa sul treno dell’OBB, dormimmo quasi abbracciati.
In quella notte sentii tutto il suo affetto.
A Istanbul, un viaggio breve ma intenso. Ricorderò sempre il suo timore in un remoto villagio dell’Anatolya, con la neve che cadeva copiosamente, in quell’albergo dalle atmosfere delle “Mille e Una Notte”. Temette di non riuscire a tornare. Ma il suo sguardo, il giorno dopo, sotto un cielo limpido, era di nuovo radioso e speranzoso.
Era così solare, con quei boccoli biondi, non si arrabbiava mai, cercava di capire. Io ero un esempio per lei. Non so come accadde, ma mi scrisse lettere al fermo posta di Mosca, non so quale ufficio, e anche quando ero al Cairo, all’Italian Hospital per una clerckship all’AinShams University. Le conservo ancora quelle buste consegnate, miracolosamente, nei vari uffici. Il mio nome in caratteri cirillici.
Mi scrisse anche da Brighton durante le sue vacanze estive. Era talmente felice di quella esperienza che presa dall’euforia, mi inviò la sua unica e idimenticabile poesia.
Poi però decisi di aprire il vaso di Pandora e ci fu il declino della nostra amicizia. I ruoli si invertirono. Lei era la capocciona, io un miseruncolo studente di Medicina. Lei era veramente brava, nonostante quell’anno difficile in Fisica, che abbandonò miseramente perché troppo impegnativoo.
Passò a Economia e Commercio e trovò la sua brillantissima strada, che io non riuscii a seguire, ormai distanti anni luce. Ma aver condiviso un’esperienza all’Università di Lovagno, in Belgio, dove lei prese un master, me la fece sentire per un attimo vicina a lei.
Complimenti, cara Flavia, per la tua carriera, per i figli, per tutto. Tu ti sei realizzata, mentre io… Un abbraccio forte forte.