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La carota della Esselunga
Cara Esselunga, ho visto ieri il tuo video, quello della carota, tanto per intenderci. Deludente! Soprattutto i personaggi. Ma un padre così sfigato, dove l’hai potuto prendere? Dagli scaffali degli sconti? Nel reparto ortofrutta? Poi… con quei capelli unti, quella faccia da cane bastonato, gli occhiali con due fondi di bottiglia…
E lei? Con quella tinta dei capelli di qualità scadente, per non parlare del maglioncino rosso infeltrito di due taglie più piccole?
E la camicetta che neanche suor Claretta in Sister Act.
Da quando l’uomo fa guidare la donna? Ma la vedete la espressione di lui, terrorizzato, manco dovesse portarlo dal veterinario. Depresso, sull’orlo del suicidio. Lui che stava bene nella sua cantinetta, nel seminterrato, nel garage umido a lume di candela?
E poi di certo la Via Piave non aiuta nel nostro immaginario. Il Piave l’assoccio ai tempi bui, brutti, di stenti… Potevate girarlo qui a Como, alla Cà Merlata. Ah, come dite? Non si può parcheggiare proprio di fronte… A bè… Se lo dite voi.
E lei, la figlia con quelle braccia conserte, proprio l’opposto rispetto a un atteggiamento distensivo e di pace.
Si vede che lei, lo odia proprio. Anche il fratello annuisce senza proferire parola.
Tanto ha già deciso, lei vuole cucinare! CUCINARE? E’ la massima ambizione di questa sciacquetta che vuole fare le cose da sé? Arianna, mi sai che hai perso il filo da qualche parte. E il padre che le va a prendere la carota. La CAROTA? Io credo che stiamo rasentando l’assurdo. Se a me avessero dato una carota come microfono, sai dove gliel’avrei infilata… Ops, scusate, non volevo essere volgare. Ma per dio, un po’ di ottimismo, un po’ di apertura, un po’ di vivacità…
Scusate vado a prendermi un flacone di aloperidolo e me lo scolo, perché sinceramente con la carota in mano, non so bene come comportarmi. Da defungere all’istante.
